Enlarge My Heart

Well, I didn’t quite make it to the moon after all. But I did make it to many other places since the last time I posted. Over a span of 7 days in mid-December, I set foot in 3 states, 3 provinces, and 4 countries.

I also spent six weeks at SMBI, an incredibly rich experience. I will not describe much of it now, but what I learned there will hopefully filter through my writing over time.

Taking classes like Servanthood That Enriches, Discovering Our God, and Principles of Biblical Interpretation provoked much thoughts and discussions. Though these classes covered a broad range of topics, from caring and counseling to deep theology to practical Bible study, I found they all complemented each other. After only a few weeks of soaking in the Word of God, I wondered how I could ever retain any more of the marvelous truths we were studying.

One evening during an hour of solitude, every good corner had been taken. So I shoved some couches around, draped a blanket over them to create a tent, and crawled underneath with a notebook. There I wrote the following poem, trying somehow to express the yearning within me.

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Enlarge My Heart

Enlarge my heart! Oh Lord, I long
For more abundance—more of Thee!
But I’m so small, You overwhelm
My simple heart’s capacity.

Let streams flow o’er my thirsty soul
To gently soften every part.
Let rivers swell to surging floods
Till fountains burst my shriveled heart.

I’m lost in Your abundance, Lord;
I’ll fix my eyes upon Your face.
May nothing of myself be found,
But Your amazing love and grace.

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It ended up taking longer than an hour to complete, but when I finished the next day, I tacked it onto the girls’ bulletin board. In a few days, a friend asked if she could arrange music for the words. I granted her my permission. With that, she composed her first song, which was sung at our talent show the following weekend. (We can get you the sheet music if you wish.)

This song has been my prayer ever since. In the past few months, my eyes have been opened to a wider perspective of God and of life through my intense studies, the songs we sang in choir, and the experiences I had at SMBI, on our Belize tour, at home, and everywhere between.

When I asked God to enlarge my heart, I didn’t consider that it’s up to Him whether He fills it with joy or grief. He chose to flood me with both in an unexpected whirlpool of events over the end of term and the next few weeks. But because God had already been stretching my heart, He enabled me to embrace whatever came my way. It’s been an amazing journey.

Oh, the ways of God are incomprehensible! He is unmeasurable. His character is indescribable. And words are never big enough to accurately portray Him. It seems foolish even to try.

“The more I learn about God, the less I know about Him.”

These were my words at the end of term. I know it’s ironic–contradictory. But the further one delves into God, the more depths one discovers. This is the God I serve. This is the God that is interested and involved in every miniscule detail of my life. Of your life. The very same God who breathed out power, light, and splendor on the first day of Creation still lives today, breathing redemption and hope into broken, dark places. God calls us out of darkness into His abundant life, inviting us to be instruments in His hands.

He is exceedingly abundantly above all. So enlarge my heart, oh Lord!

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Photography Credits:

Julie Helmuth, Allison Hahn, Trent Weaver, and Serena Shrock